Tag Archives | Love

Who Am I?

By on December 17, 2010 in Favorites, Ka Ta See, Love, Song

“When you are learning to live by your Song, each act you perform successfully from your center in this way, it is an act of equity. A show of honor to all your beloved world. Someday all your acts will be a show of honor.

“Your Song is your piece of the Creator, Kay. It is how you experience your aliveness and the Creator and the world you are in. In this way it is a prayer. It is your constant prayer to all of Creation whether you are aware of it or not. When you consciously feel your Song you are in the act of knowing Creation and it knows you. Unconditionally. You are touching Creator with your gloves off and your eyes open.”

– Chea Hetaka – Sacred Link: Joining Fortunes With The Unknown

We wanted to share something special for the Holiday season.

The following is a letter from a student sent to us after the end of Level 7, the last weekend class in Kay’s 4 year course Setting The World In Balance. Since it is deeply private we weren’t sure we wanted to share any of it publicly, even after we asked for and received permission to do so.

Then we thought about sharing just excerpts and in the end we felt the whole of Lynardia’s story expresses so much more than any of it’s parts.

We share this letter with the greatest respect and gratitude for your life and for your courage to so graciously allow us to share it with others.

It is our hope that the healing you share will touch the hearts of others the same way it has touched ours.

Happy Holiday Season.

In Gratitude and Love and Song.

Helmut

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I knew my Song as a child in Ohio, life was easy and breezy, as I witnessed and learned about the growing seasons of a very large garden with my Father.

I would work beside him during the spring and summer planting, weeding, watering; and then harvesting the food that would sustain our family for the remainder of the year.

Every tree, plant, rock, frog, snake, weed, grain of dirt, worm, bug, leaf was amazing all to itself.

I grew up knowing them well.

And when the tiny little shoots of new growth would pop their heads through the soil, there was great celebrating.

Throughout the year I would roll in the new spring grass, jump in piles of leaves, catch lightening bugs, chase flies out of the house and laugh until I couldn’t laugh anymore.

My Father would always join in this frolic.

I was noisy at spreading my cheer from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep.

I related to being a child of the earth, sustained and nurtured by the earth, guided by my curiosity and protected by my parents.

And my Song continued through my love of the music, rhythm, movement and flow of dancing; and my joy for dance overflowed into everyone’s life as I studied and practiced for 13 years.

My Father replaced the flooring two times as I danced my way through the linoleum.

Even after the two year healing of my first back injury, I danced, no longer as a professional, just for the joy of it.

I was filled with joy as I danced as one with the air.

Throughout the years, adults controlled a good bit of life through school and church. But I always questioned and searched for answers.

Why did I have to give up my joy to be an adult – it just didn’t make sense.

Then during my stint at Kent State University, I was witness to the Viet Nam protest, where students died in pursuit of what they believed to be right because one adult gave the direction to “fire”.

It was my first real shock of how fragile we are as humans.

Through death there was healing and through that healing there was born a new way of thinking by mankind; but to many, it was a day never to be forgotten.

My joy was dimmed by this incident as fear moved in – I had never had a relationship with fear.

Fear was everywhere – on the faces of friends leaving for military duty, on the faces of friends escaping to Canada to avoid the draft, on the faces of parents as they hugged and kissed their sons – some for the last time.

Several years after college, I married and gave birth to a son.  It was at the time of death of my son that I thought why bother, it is all so useless, so many tragedies, and so much loss.

But my strength to go on endured and somehow pushed my husband and I forward to Las Vegas. The land of sunshine and yet my joy did not return.

There was the event of moving to Las Vegas, my first time to be so far away from family and friends. A 24 hour town, a desert, sometimes strange new people, a new way of living, new work, all testing my sense of self and I wondered why I was in Las Vegas.

And when my husband passed away, I was ready to scramble back to Ohio. It was then that I was introduced to the Native Americans in the surrounding areas and I knew why I was in Las Vegas – there was much for me to learn and they were willing to embrace and teach me.

There were the years of working and living with the Native Americans in Nevada and California, who taught me that I could listen with my eyes (not a typo), see with my ears, and speak without opening my mouth.

It reminded of childhood thoughts. My quietness and peace and spirit were restored. And there were moments when joy filled my heart.

I recognized my joy like an old friend but I couldn’t for some reason hold onto it.

The years with my Native American life partner were joyous as we worked and played together. And even after his tragic death, the memories brought a smile to my face.

And yet, it wasn’t that joy that I knew as a child or when I was dancing, the joy was attached to him or a place or a specific event.

And then there was the first class of the 4 Year Course when I and my 19 fellow classmates were asked by Kay to describe the following: “who am I, what am I, how do I identify myself, what is my purpose”.

I was blank, not one thought immerged as the small group waited for my response.

I will always remember my following words that went something like this: “I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a nurturer, a care giver, a provider, a traveler, an employer…….. and then I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes because after all these years and all these life changing events I had forgotten who I was, or how to identify myself, or my purpose.

And true to form, I didn’t shed any tears outwardly even though my heart was screaming.

These past four years with Kay have led me to remember who I am, my joy, my aliveness.

It has been at times the most grueling and trying of exercises.

And yet, this experience has been the most extremely joyous of my adult life experiences.

Instead of relying on automatic responses and actions (my masks), I have learned to live, listen and speak only from my heart.

And when my actions or words are not from heart, I recognize it immediately. For in my heart lives my true self.

It’s been a death and at the same time an awakening.

When I live from my heart, there are no judgments, no expectations, no blind beliefs, no assumptions, or jumping to conclusions within my actions and/or thoughts; and by allowing my heart to do my thinking; my brain is freed to focus on being awake.

And while I still serve others in many capacities, these things are no longer roles played out by my masks, on cue. They are carried from my heart to the heart of those present in the moment.

In the beginning I planted my feet, more in fear of the unknown than anything else, and it took awhile for me to learn that there was nothing to fear.

With patience, Kay listened to each student while nodding her head, never disagreeing or trying to talk over us.

She would hand us a tissue when we cried and laugh with us when we laughed.  She held us together as a group for days on end.

At the end of each breakout session, she would smile and say, OK, for our next exercise, we will do………..even when we wanted to be done for the day.

And that is the way of Ka Ta See teachings, to keep doing, keep waking up.

The homework was arduous, and it required daily if not moment by moment attention. I was probably 2 years into the class before I woke up.

It is difficult to know oneself that intimately; and it’s so much easier to turn my actions and responses on “automatic” as I have done for most of my adult life.

But then the joy of just being me is lost as well as the joy of the moment, as well as the joy of whatever may be happening at that moment.

Now, I can say that there is aliveness in my every moment and it is exhilarating. And with this aliveness comes new awareness and new knowledge.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still a work in progress and will continue my studies…….with patience and Kay.

Many, many thanks, Kay

From my Heart to Yours…………

Lynardia G

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The Reality Of Consciousness Or Can We All Prevent Another Oil Spill?

By on July 15, 2010 in Attention, Bone Throwing, Love

In my last post, ‘The Reality Of Consciousness Or Did We All Create The Oil Spill’ I suggested you take notes every time you find yourself not thinking such nice thoughts or feeling such nice feelings about yourself, about others, about the world, about anything.

Our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, those are our constant prayer to the universe to help us create our, however small, part of the universe and whatever we create in our small part ripples out.

You don’t think your thoughts have any effect? You don’t think your feelings and emotions don’t make any difference? Think again.

Your thoughts create your world, your feelings and emotions create your world and the world around you.

You become what you think about most of the time. You create what you think about most of the time.

So the question really is, when you have not so nice thoughts about yourself, or someone else, or something else, is that the you you want to create? Are those the relationships you want to create? Is that the world you want to create? Is that the here and now, and the future, you want to create, the legacy you want to leave for the generations yet to come?

What? You say but that’s too much for any one person to handle?

As many of you know, we have done a series of Bone Throwing Ceremonies about the oil spill. (We will put the videos from the Bone Throw about the first question up this week).

One of the things the Spirits point out repeatedly is in order for us to heal what’s happening, in order for us to create a different world we need to first and foremost drop our wimpy whining and take responsibility for our every thought, emotion, all our feelings we have throughout the day, every second of every waking hour of our lives.

And they say, for us humans to realize how powerful we really are.

The exact phrase they use is “to step up to the plate”.

So next time you find yourself wimpy whining about how terrible this person is, about how terrible the world is, about how terrible and unjustly you have been treated, about how terrible this and that and the other is – stop. No, I mean really – stop.

Don’t make excuses why you shouldn’t stop, why you have the right to your wimping and whining and complaining and blaming. Don’t think about why it’s so hard to stop. Don’t make excuses why you can’t. Just stop.

Unless of course those thoughts and feelings you can’t let go of are representing the world you want to create, the future you want to create for yourself, for your children, for humanity, indeed for all life?

Are they?

If you are not creating Love, you are creating something different, make sure that “different” is what you really, really want.

“Know yourself”, is something else the Spirits point out repeatedly throughout the series about the oil spill. Unless you truly, truly know yourself, nothing will change for the better.

Oh, but that’s so hard, that takes so much time and effort, you may think.

Well, first of all, anything worth doing takes time and effort and anything worth doing deserves to be done well.

But there are also people like Domano Hetaka, Kay’s teacher who always told her, “waking up, knowing YOUR Song, truly knowing yourself, takes as long as you want it to take and is as hard as you want it to be.”

Time is running short. The question is, do you want to make a difference? Do you really, really want to make a difference, or would you rather stay with the chicken little crowd and help them prove that the sky is falling and the world is coming to an end?

That way you don’t have to do anything.

It’s easy to just sit there and give all your power away and convince yourself there is nothing you can do anyway and that we are all doomed and that this disaster is a planet killer and it’s the end.

(As a side, if it’s a planet killer, why are all the nut jobs convinced of that preparing to survive? Just something I never understood.)

It’s an entirely different story to stop the wimpy whining and stand up, or step up to the plate as the Spirits put it, and be counted.

This may come as a surprise, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter if the world is coming to and end, although we’d rather it not. But following a shamanic tradition we walk with death in every moment.

Knowing our mortality, knowing our lives can end, knowing everything can end at every moment puts everything in perspective, but it also guides us to live the best life we possible can, to not wimp and whine it away. Chicken little is not an option for a spiritual path, not for this one anyway.

Death is not something that stalks us all our lives, it’s an ally that reminds us in every moment that it doesn’t really matter so much what “things” we leave behind. What does matter is how we’ve lived.

Our thoughts, our every emotion and feeling are the way we live and that is our real legacy.

So, what’s your legacy?

Are you identifying with your Song all day long?

“The price of free, uncensored thoughts, genuine overflowing passionate feelings, out of the box creativity, experiencing the diversities of the universe.

Playing in your own uniqueness, perceiving the world inside and outside, totally uncensored, sharing the intelligence of other entities, exchanging unconditional acceptance and Love with anything and anybody, being free of judgement.

Choose Song.
Choose your genuine identity.
Choose to step out of the box.”

- Kay Cordell Whitaker during a private Study Group session.

Is that what you are living? Is that what you want to live?

Love and Song,

Helmut

PS: The first of the Bone Throw videos will be up soon.

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