Sacred Link: Joining Fortunes With The Unknown

This week we continue where we left off with our last post and Kay’s story about commitment and her difficulties with it towards her teachers and friends.

If you haven’t yet had a chance, please read the previous post “Trapped In A Broken World – About Commitment”.

Following is a continuing excerpt from Kay’s book, “Sacred Link”, from the chapter entitled, “Trapped In A Broken World”:

“Learn your Song. Learn your masks. Refuse to take part in these broken webs and they pass into death of their own weight. Hold to your center and dance on your Song instead. It is the only way you can stay alive.”

I began to cry. For the first time I could see what it really was I had been so careless with. It wasn’t just a promise whose definition I muddled and misused, it was a whole way of life, a way of actually living in beauty and health. It was my truest friend. It was my very future.

She went into the kitchen. Domano stood up and looked out the window toward the Sun and said, “I will tell you some stories about the directions. The pillars. This is a good time for this.

“We look around our circle.” He pointed all the way around the room. “They are the forces that weave together to build our world. The First Ones. The Oldest. They are the Wheel out there and the Wheel inside. Our people say they are the oldest of the old Grandparents that sit with each direction and watch. We say Grandparents because for us this is the greatest respect. They are the Watchers, the helpers of each direction. The Grandmothers and Grandfathers of the directions. I’ll tell you something about them.

“There is this Grandmother of the West and she is real harsh. But she loves the Humans. She guards the gate to the West. No one gets past her that does not turn their eyes to themselves, to their world inside themself. She sits in council with Death and Destiny. To one who walks in truth to themself she makes sure they see the ugly inside, all the ugly, as well as the beautiful. She is relentless but she makes a warrior very strong and persistent.

“One day a warrior came to her door. He said, ‘Grandmother, I seek to be wise and worthy. Help me, please. I have nothing to offer to you but my respect and gratitude and my love. This is not much, but it is all I have. This is the desire in my heart. I want nothing else more in my life.’

“She looked at him and said, ‘This is a difficult thing you seek. Are you sure this is what you want?’

“‘Grandmother,’ he says, ‘I know nothing of your ways. I know only that I seek to be worthy.’

“‘Then my door is open to you.’ And she lets the warrior in and the door shuts behind him with a huge bang.

“He is about to thank her when she grabs him and tosses him into her mouth. He screams and fights for his life but it is no use. She just chews and laughs and says to herself how good he tastes. She says this one is a real wriggler. She enjoys him a lot, rolling him around in her mouth and crunching him with her teeth, swallowing the best parts, then she spits him into the big river that lives over in the West corner of the world.

“There is nothing in this deep water but him. A long time goes by. A real long time. And his body floats to the top of the water. The old Grandmother walks by the bank that day and sees him. She pulls him out and there is still a little spark of life in him. She shakes him real good until he opens his eyes, and she says, ‘Why are you still alive? Why do you come to my feet again?’

“And he struggles to find thoughts and says, ‘Because I seek to be worthy and wise.’

“‘Well,’ she tells him, ‘I can not help you any more right now. You will have to go find the elders of the North. But I will see you again someday.’ And she throws him hard into the wind toward the corner of the North.

“Now these North Grandparents are full of compassion and kindness. The warrior comes crawling across their land calling to them, crying for their help. This one Grandmother who sees him runs over and carries him to her hut. She washes his body, gives him food and drink and a place to lay down. Her little humble home is full of the smells of food cooking and herbs drying. She is happy to care for him and sings to him until he falls asleep.

“He stays with her many seasons. She walks in council with the Mother Earth and they bring the life and strength back to his body. She teaches him the fixing of herbs, and the tending of the fields and animals. He works long and hard for the Grandmother. They love each other very much but the day comes when they know he must leave. It is time that his seeking takes him somewhere else. She tells him he must hunt for the Grandparents of the East and gives him what he will need for the quest.

“He sets out for the long journey to the corner of the East. Many things happen to the warrior as he travels and he becomes confused and loses his way. He is having a real hard time. One day he looks up from the ground and in front of him stands the old harsh Grandmother from the West. He knows now that he has come a great way off his path and is on the opposite side of the world from where he thinks he should be.

“She picks him up and says, ‘You again? What are you doing here? So, you are no longer seeking to be worthy, hmm?’

“‘But Grandmother,’ he says, ‘I do still seek. I’ve lost my way. Can you help me?’

“‘Maybe,’ she says. ‘I bet you taste as good as ever.’ And she bites off pieces of his flesh and throws him back into the river.

“He struggles and swims for a long time when Turtle finds him and gives him a ride down the river to the East. Turtle takes good care of the warrior, helping him heal from his wounds, and they share many tales of their lives on the long journey.

“When he gets to the corner of the East many years have passed since he first began his search. He wonders if he ever will be worthy and wise. But his dream is still in his heart and he can think of no other thing he would rather put his efforts to. So he asks to speak to the Grandparents of the East. They are very wise and see everything that goes on. There is no hiding anything from them.

“This Grandmother came to him and took him to her hut on the top of the nearby mountain. This house was open to the Stars and he could see far far away into the valleys below. The air was clear and sweet. The sounds of the villages and the forests and the meadows moved through the sky with the calls of birds and the voice of the winds. The Grandmother said, ‘Don’t speak. Listen.’ She pointed all around the land and the sky. ‘Live among us here. Watch. And feel.’

“The Sun came and went, came and went. The seasons came and went, and came and went. She saw to his needs but would not spend time with him. One day she came to him and asked, ‘Why do you sit here warrior? Don’t you miss your people? Why don’t you go home to them?’

“‘I still seek to be worthy and wise, Grandmother. Every day my dream gets clearer. I will follow what you say.’

“‘Then listen and watch and feel,’ she says. And she left him there again. The Suns and the seasons passed. And the warrior’s hair grew long and white.

“Now she came again to him one day in a dream and tells him it is time for him to take his quest to the South. He was afraid the journey was very long and hard and he was old now and might not make it to the end. She said to him, ‘If your mind is full of only your purpose then you will succeed.’ So, he sets out the next day.

“When he reaches the corner of the world in the South he is very happy. He goes to the elders and tells them of his quest. An old Grandmother takes him into her care. She puts her arm around him and they walk through the village. The children are laughing and playing and the old Grandmother laughs with them.

“‘It is good to be alive,’ he says touching the leaves of the trees and plants.

“‘Yes,’ says the Grandmother. ‘Life feels good. It fills my heart and makes it sing. Like these little children. They know only their aliveness. They are so full it bounces out of them.’

“‘Grandmother,’ he says. ‘Can I stay with you awhile and learn from you?’

“‘Spend your time here, with these children. Enjoy yourself.’

“So this is what he did. The old warrior had lots of fun. And one day he and the old Grandmother were talking and he says, ‘Grandmother, I’ve been to the four corners of the world. Where do I go next? What is left?’

“She says, ‘There is the Spirit Place Above, and the Mother Below whose body is made from the four corners and the Above, and there is the Tree at the Center of All. Go to the Tree. There you can learn about all things.

“This was the old warrior’s last walk. It was only a short ways to the Great Tree. The Sun was warm. Birds were singing around and there were many kinds of living things. He could taste the sweet of the flowers on the air. He looks around and takes a deep breath, ‘Ahh!’ he says. ‘Yes.’ He knows this place. It is the home he left those many long years ago.”

The Hetakas had never told me exactly what the significance was behind the directions no matter how many times and ways I had asked for them to be explained. They would only tell me about them in story form. This story today was the clearest one yet, describing their meanings and functions as archetypal. I thought about how the other direction stories they had told me through the years compared to this one. And I wondered how it related to my life and my current struggles with commitment.

Even though they had taught me in story and in action of the difficulties of staying on the spiral path I felt very unprepared for this pitfall, both in not having seen it coming and in not knowing how to deal with it now that the mistake was done and over with. I was extremely uncomfortable. I felt stupid and morally deficient. It would have been easier if they had gotten angry and punished me. I didn’t know how to act. I didn’t know what was the proper thing for me to do now. Should I withdraw myself from the instructions out of respect and shame? Or would the correct thing to do be to remake my commitment to learning these traditions with more determined persistence, pursuing them now as a way of thinking, feeling and living with honor and equity?

“You said that you would not kick me out.” I had to cough and clear my throat. “But does that mean that I should be the one to withdraw? I would rather stay and keep trying. I don’t know what the proper thing is in your culture. What would be done in your tribe?”

Chea nodded. “Your questions show honest concern, Young One. This is a good thing.” I felt something exciting and wonderful from her that wouldn’t let my attention stray away. “You already made the decision of your direction when you chose to learn this way. This is your path. For the rest of your life this is the path you will walk. How you walk it, or stumble around it, is up to you. Whether or not we are together is for the spirit people to say. You will still be on this path, one way or the other.”

This old woman was an enigma to me. She was not angry or disappointed or stressed in any way. Her face looked so beautiful. Sometimes it was almost as though she was observing me from some other world. The lines of time that carved her dark skin spoke of the thousands upon thousands of years that her people have lived and loved and gained. There was such knowing and curiosity, sternness and softness. She walked in pride but never arrogance. Her face was mystery itself. A steadiness in her eyes was always there. I wondered what she saw, what she had seen through her life. Would I have a chance to see even half as much before I died?

Domano picked up the coffee pot, “This is kind of cold now. But it still will taste good. Who wants some more? You want a little more?”

I looked at him blankly. He interrupted my train of thought and it took me a few seconds to understand what he had said. “Oh. Yeah. Have I ever turned down French roast?”

“No,” he answered. “Never.”

I thanked him and looked out the window. The few clouds that were in the sky were breaking away from the Sun. “Do we have time today to walk on the beach for a while?” I asked. “It sure would feel good.”

Chea slapped Domano lightly on the back, “I want to go too. Come on. Let’s go get our feet wet.”

“OK,” he said. ” But no throwing sand, and no pushing in the water.”

I took off my shoes and left them by the door. Chea shoved Domano in the side as she took off her socks and ran for the door ahead of him. They giggled and pushed each other all the way down to the water’s edge.

“So what do you think of the directions? The pillars?” He asked, splashing water as hard as he could with every step.

“What?” His question took me completely by surprise. He would never allow me to discuss it before. “I don’t know.”  The tension inside me was growing again and I had trouble putting words together. I felt like I was being put on the spot; I was so afraid of being wrong. I wanted to show them I was able to be coherent and stuttered the first thing that came to my mind. “I think I’m getting a little idea of what they are. But the Tree is what I can’t figure out. And I guess I really don’t understand what they are altogether. What is the Great Tree?”

“The Tree is in the center,” he said. “It’s there at the place where all things meet at the center of the circle – the ‘Center of the World’. Where the forces of the directions come together. The male and the female come together. It is also a great mystery that they all come from the center too. This wheel is what the whole of existence is. It is what each one of us is inside. The wheel’s hub is the garden.”

He squatted in the water’s edge and dug into a little hole in the sand. “What sort of fellow do you think lives down here? Look at this bubble coming up out of the sand.”

“I don’t know,” I answered. “Maybe you should be careful. He might bite.” We all laughed, and he looked up like a little boy about to be naughty. “But really,” I asked. “What is the difference if you go around the circle or around the spiral? Don’t you still go from one direction to the next? What difference does it make? And what difference does it make to be in the center or go up the Tree? It’s still the center.”

The wind was blowing hard and Chea tucked a loose strand of hair back into the bun she always wore. I had never seen it come down before. It was barely long enough to stay in the tie that she used to hold it up. She shook her head at Domano digging in the sand and smiled. She said, “Walking the outer circle is the everyday life. We feel the influence of the directions as they weave into our daily lives. Walking on the spiral is touching the directions from a different place. You are closer to the Tree and the directions feel different, stronger. You are in a portion of the directions that you don’t always feel from the outer circle. Their Songs have changed like new harmonies added; they are sung in a new range of tones. As you go to the center and up the Tree, each branch up the Tree is singing with yet another harmony and another range of sounds and tones. The web that we use on the outer circle is woven light and simple. Up the spiral and up the Tree the web grows more and more intricate and layered, passing through many other webs and worlds, weaving and unweaving as the need comes.

“Different peoples talk about this in different ways. This is just a way to talk about things that can not be explained with the words and logic of your culture. For some they say that each of these changes is a god, or maybe a new time in the god’s life.”

The cuffs of my jeans were getting wet. I thought of rolling them up but it was already too late. I just walked out a little farther into the water anyway. The cold felt good. It reminded me that I was alive.

Domano spoke and waved his finger in the air at me, “In the ways of our tradition those Grandparents I told you about have gifted you. From each direction a tool, a special gift, to help you reach the spiral to the Great Tree. From the south you know how to feel your Song. From the north they gave you healing and the Life Energy of the Earth Fire Serpent from the Mother Earth. From the west you danced at your own death and tasted your destiny; you felt the loosening of your thoughts that bind and imprison you. And from the east, in the larger part of your mind, the place inside that connects to everything else was shown to you. These put you on the spiral path, they teach the balance and equity with all things. And together they put you in the center, the Center of the World, at the base of the Great Tree of Life. This is what we call wanowa ka ta see: building a world that is in balance. You see?”

As he spoke I remembered the time in the Cowell courtyard and how I experienced an event from the perspective of each direction and the center. When I was there I understood what that meant. But now, away from the experience, the memory of the feeling of it has faded. I found myself grasping again to piece together the understanding and application of it.

“We are Humans,” he said. “And we make mistakes. The path is rough and narrow. Each direction has its own kind of snares and troubles. There will always be problems to overcome. How you avoid them, fall into them, or climb back out, is how you walk your path. Life is not always a piece of cake, no matter which path you walk.”

I hesitated, not knowing what I should say. “I had moments when I knew. I mean I really knew. But now I can’t remember it all. It’s as if it is just outside of my remembering.”

“Yes,” he nodded as though that was all perfectly logical. “This will happen until you can stay closer to the Tree all the time. The memory is there inside you. The knowing is there. It helps you in spite of your down falls. You will see.”

Song to Song,

Helmut

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